Hokkien- Cantonese conflict

I am Hokkien and Cantonese –The focus of Hokkiens is on Money and Business and the Cantonese on culture and arts. Which would explain why a typical scene in my home would be my parents sitting on armchairs with my dad( the Hokkien) looking at stock exchange and reading business books while my mother was either sculpting with clay, beading or knitting, ( The Cantonese). This is also why in the renovation of our family home my mother designed a house dimensions and form and and once my father took over we ended up with a square house because it was the maximum utilization of space( Manifesting hokkieness). Imagine a house a child would draw. Rectangle body, Triangle roof, square door, square windows. And because the yellow bathtub was cheap and we had some blue tiles left over from a renovation job 15 years ago, we had a yellow bath tub put in by the cheapest plumber in a very very blue tiled bathroom.

In me it manifests as researching price, quality,availability, guarantees etc of an item to the point of paralysis only to then decide to make it myself or in me purchasing the item just because its green. Most of all it manifest in my inability to enjoy any form of art without wondering if I can make money from it. A great part of that is the guilt I feel from spending time doing it purely because it give me joy. You know how some people picture a good and evil the left and right shoulder, counsellings the conflicted soul in the middle? Mine is a Hokkienme to the right and a Cantoneseme to the left.

How do i reconcile this aspects of myself? I would say it is summed up in my love for food. I love Bah Kut Teh( A Hokkien favourite) for is strong taste and chunks of Fatty bony juice meat served often in unpretentious shops with pots with burnt bottom and tea pots that have not been washed since first use ( add to the flavour of the tea apparently. I am sure the shop boss is trying to pull a fast one) and I love Dim Sum( A Cantonese fare) for its delicate blend of delicate flavours and how the artisty and design of the food is as much part of it as its taste.

So I take this as my license to be conflicted. I do wonder however how it will be for my son who will have to contend with being Hakka, Hokkien-Cantonese, first generation Asian American and being my child.